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Shoosh!
'Hi! You weans, gonnae stoap yer racket, we cannae hear oorsel's thinkin'.'
It wis murder bein' a wee boy in Govan, always bein' telt tae stoap.
Stoap scratchin' yer heid, stoap skliffin' yer feet, stoap spittin', stoap pickin' yer nose an' eatin' it, stoap smokin', stoap plunkin' school, stoap pickin' that scab.
An' if ye dared tae say that ye couldnae stoap, ye were telt.
Stoap sayin' that ye cannae stoap.
An' if ye said that ye couldnae stoap sayin' that ye couldnae stoap.
Wi' a thump oan the heid wi' every word ye were telt.
Stoap sayin' that ye cannae stoap sayin' ye cannae stoap sayin' that ye cannae stoap.
It wis murder.
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The Ants v The Celts.
A state o' the art fitba' pitch looks set tae be in sight.
For St Anthony's fitba team that play in green an' white.
The club secretary, ye know him wi' his nose a' snottery.
He's jist goat a contribution frae the national lottery.
He says he'll get the rest frae some o' Celtic's riches.
An' the park's gonnae be built oan Govan's fifty pitches.
The board at Celtic park have goat an awfy fright.
'Cos they know that the Ants are in the bloody right.
They've a' gethered roon tae discuss in a big huddle.
Jist how they goat themsel's intae such a muddle.
They went intae the clubhoose an' they a' had their soups.
Guinness wis flowin', 'Are we gonnae lose oor hoops.'
The Ants' case wis clear an' absolutely unambiguous.
That Celtic FC had, 'Stolen a' oor hoops frae us.'
The Judge has sent the jury oot tae deliberate a' night.
He telt them that the Ants still owned the copyright.
10/11 The Ants...9/2 The Celts.
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Tae the left is an artist's impression of how the new stadium should look. Ye can see the river Clyde in the forefront.
I know efter a few pints o' my home brew, ye might no'
believe it, but jist you wait tae the diggers move in.
Cheerie O, Joe.
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