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The Stationary Stalker.
There's a big gallut in the Govan Gaully, he stauns aboot six feet tall.
He hings aboot like a wally dug, richt aff a market stall.
In hail, or rain, or sleet, or snaw, ye never see him wi' a brolly.
He jist stauns aboot in his big black suit, lookin' doon oan the Govan Gaully.
As the wimmin pass ye can hear them sayin', 'Whit's that big man up there daein'.'
'He's lookin' at me Sarah in my Sunday best, I wish that he'd gie it a bloody rest.'
'I'm awa' doon tae Orkney Street tae tell them a' aboot his capers.'
'We'll find oot then whit he's a' aboot, when we read it in the papers.'
'Hey! Big man does yer mammie know yer oot leerin' at the wimmin as they're walkin'.' 'PC McPail's gonnae take ye tae jail, an' charge ye wi' stationary stalkin'.'
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A twist in the Tale.
The fish that never swam, 'cos it's mammie widnae let it.
She had bought a swimmin' costume an' she didnae want tae wet it.
The tree that never grew, said 'Bein' big didnae matter.'
'I blame it oan the fishes for drinkin' a' the watter'.
The bell that never rang, for the people oan the Sunday.
Said, 'I didnae ring the bell for I thought that it wis Monday.'
The bird that never flew, said it's, 'Belly wis fu' o' marshallow.'
Jist between me an' you, I find that very hard tae swallow.
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